Family & Life, General

Why I lost my Mojo (and How I Got it Back)

Posted November 5, 2014 by Bethanie Lunn

For a long, long time – I have felt like I’ve lost my mojo.  This blog post is very personal to me but I want to share it.  I want to put it out there into The Universe with my middle finger up to say, ‘Universe, I’ve had enough now – f**k you‘.  I want to put it out there to help others, to inspire you, get feedback, help myself.

So here goes…

A few years ago, someone close to me was diagnosed with a life threatening change to their health.  I say change as it’s not an illness, more like an ailment they were born with that, if left untreated, could kill them.  It meant radiotherapy treatment was needed and that the recovery road afterward was going to be long, dark, difficult and uncertain BUT worth a try.  I’m not ready to share who this person is yet but that will come.

When you get news about your health  – whether it’s you or a loved one – and you hear words like ‘life-threatening’, ‘death rate’, ‘treatment’, ‘recovery rate’, ‘best possible outcome is…’, it’s surreal.  You watch those moments on television, you read about them in the newspaper and you hear the devastating news from others.  You never really imagine it will be you.

I’m cutting a very long, very painful and extremely life-changing story short here since I wish to tell you the full tale another time.  For now though, I can tell you that since the ‘diagnosis’ occurred – my whole world changed and it seemed to be filled with one sad / challenging / painful moment after the next.

So the last couple of years for my Husband I have included several house moves beyond our control, relocating twice, freaky accidents that cause permanent injuries, in and out of hospitals for various reasons, time off work, role reversals, a number of close family and friends in ill health oh and having a baby!  The latter of course was  – and still is – the shining light amid all the darkness.

So I got another bit of terrible news a few months back resulting in a freak accident AND another house move (a long story that I do promise to share in time), and it is now that I realise I’ve been away for a while.

I have not been me.  I lost my creativity.  I  lost my mojo.  I lost myself.

Not surprising really.

So first, may I apologise for this – as it has shown in my written work right here, and may I thank each and every one of you who has stood by me.  I love you for that. xxx

Secondly, I am happy to say I AM BACK.

It might sound daft to you, but it works for me – I had my turning point a couple of nights ago.  I had a word with The Universe like it was a hateful person and grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, ‘Right Universe, I’ve had enough.  I don’t know why you keep throwing this s*it at me – possibly because you think I can cope but I can’t, I won’t and I am telling you now I’VE HAD ENOUGH‘, I said, ‘I’ve had enough and this is going to stop right now.  I’m moving on and my luck has changed for the better.  Give me a sign tomorrow that you understand.  End of’.

Ha ha.  I know it sounds funny, it was, but it felt goooood.  I chose my words carefully saying my luck HAS changed rather than ‘is going to’ since there is no time like the present.

This made me remember the tarot reading I had a couple of months ago (see pictures below), and yeah – i’m making my move NOW.  Low and behold, I got the good news I needed to hear the day after.  Universe, I’m coming for ya!

 What tips have you got to go get ’em?

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