Family & Life, General, Popular

Dealing with Rejection During Pregnancy

Posted December 16, 2015 by Bethanie Lunn

To me, this feels an intimate subject to share but one that I feel is important to do so.  At 30 weeks pregnant, I’m starting to feel alone and rejected in a number of ways; professionally, superficially and lovingly.  Do you relate to any of this?

Professionally

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I have to make extra room at my Macbook for bump – but I’m still capable, thanks

The Issue:

Companies and people I work with seem to be signing me off as we near my due date, ‘well you’re baby will be arriving soon so we’ll stop here and continue when you’re back’.  But I don’t want to ‘stop here’.  I’ve still got the same talents, insight and drive.  I can still deliver the same commitment, I’m not in the hospital ward yet!  I just find that companies tend to squeeze every last drop out of you in a hurry like you’re going to pop any time and never be around again, while in the long term, treating us like we’re no longer useful and generally acting non-committal.  Does anyone else get this impression?

The Next Step:

I’ve decided to hell with that and have started to create opportunities based around my pregnancy and when post natal too.  I have a number of blogging and vlogging opportunities that all require me to write about pregnancy and beyond, life as a mum of 2, various baby equipment, the challenges of pregnancy.  To me, there is nothing more valuable than mothers sharing their honest experiences with others when you want to learn and connect.  The moral of the story?  Write about what you know, make the most of what you have and never be told you can’t do something.

Superficially

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The Issue:

I keep peering into shop windows, drooling over the gorgeous Christmas party dresses and longing to be able to fit into them, one thigh would perhaps. I waddle by the bars and cafes and longingly look at the crowds enjoying their huge glasses of wine and cocktails.  I’m not only jealous of their measures but their energy…and the fact that they can sit cross legged, bend down to pick up their handbag and generally move from one point to the next without feeling like their leg is going to drop off / pelvis is going to burst.

I blend in, I don’t get double takes unless it is agog at my massive bump.

The Next Step:

Enough is enough!  Just because I’m pregnant, it does NOT mean I am invisible.  Nor does it mean I don’t like a good time.  No, I can’t do shooters with you and I have to organise a military operation to meet up with you for just one hour (and leave an extra 30 minutes to get there on time due to becoming a right slo-mo-jo), BUT I’m still me and I can rock a pair of heels as well as the rest of ’em.  So what if I have to take them off after 20 minutes. Ha ha.  Whenever I do make that extra effort with my clothes, hair and makeup, I feel so much better for it.  Just yesterday, a rather attractive man totally checked me out.  He looked pretty mortified when he saw I was pregnant with a look of what I could read a guilt on his face, but I enjoyed it!  For inspiration on your maternity wardrobe and for heaps of mum-friendly quick and easy hair and beauty ideas, take a look at my channel.

Lovingly

The Issue:

I know part of it is my self esteem and feeling like a whale.  It might be that I can’t even see my legs (or anything in that lower region), let alone shave them.  Or it might be that I now look like an easter egg on legs but I’m feeling like I need more physical love.  My wonderful husband is always telling me he loves me, how beautiful I am and what ‘an amazing job’ I’m doing but I thought this cartoon sums up my reality so I think this issue speaks for itself:

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Image

The Solution:

I’m not currently looking or feeling like Charlize Theron nor am I about to try so I’m going to convince my husband to ‘support his pregnant wife’ with physical loveliness.  Foot rubs and shoulder massages will be the order of the day.   He always has been good at romance in the smallest, most thoughtful ways such as running me a candlelit bubble bath with chocolates at arms reach, so I’ll just use the power of ‘I’m in the third trimester, say yes or run’ to ensure he doesn’t slip 😉 C’mon ladies, it really isn’t much to ask in comparison to what we manage is it!

We also have a date night planned later this month and try to maintain that every 1-2 months.  I think it’s really important to remain close and connect with your other half, just you and them.  We’ve started a babysitting circle among close friends who we and the kids fully trust.  We take it in turns to babysit while the parents go out.  Even if it’s just down the local, that time ‘off’ – whether you’re heavily pregnant or not, works wonders.

I know I’m certainly not alone in feeling this way and that there are millions of women out there who feel just the same so I’d love to hear from you in the comments box below. Thank you x

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